I guess "musical needs to be well-defined before this discussion can really take off. Love of music? Talent for it? Dedication to it?

Re the number of men and women in choirs vs. at jams: Some years ago I read an interesting book on the differences between the communication styles of men and women by deborah Tannen. She made the point that even the earliest studies find that little girls in the classroom (first group setting)won't raise their hands to be called on, even if they know the answer. They prefer to blend in to the group. Little boys (again, this is a generalization of course) will pipe right up and glory in being the center of attention. The gender messages we send children begin very early. I guess it's not "ladylike" to call attention to oneself. I think it ties in with a whole larger picture--women are taught to be self conscious of their appearance, and to some extent that their worth is contingent upon other people's opinions of them.

All generalizations of course. I certainly don't have any of those hang-ups.