CAUTION: Adult content.
Not appropriate for children...or those easily offended.








PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN


8:15 am : Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8:30 am : Weigh 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday

8:45 am : Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants

9:15 am : Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil

10:00 am : Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.

10:30 am : Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.

12:00 pm : Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.

12:45 pm : Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.

1:00 pm : Shopping with friends.

3:00 pm : Nap.

4:00 pm : A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.

4:15 pm : Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.

5:30 pm : Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.

7:30 pm : Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.

10:00 pm : Hot shower. Alone.

10:30 pm : Make love.

11:00 pm : Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15 pm : Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.



A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN


6:00 am : Alarm.

6:15 am : Blowjob.

6:30 am : Massive dump while reading the sports section.

7:00 am : Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.

7:30 am : Limo arrives.

7:45 am : Bloody Mary en route to airport.

8:15 am : Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.

9:30 am : Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.

9:45 am : Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.

11:30 am : Blowjob

11:45 am : Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.

12:15 pm : Blowjob.

12:30 pm : Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.

2:15 pm : Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.

2:20 pm : Blowjob

2:30 pm : Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.

3:15 pm : Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.

4:15 pm : Blowjob.

4:30 pm : Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.

5:00 pm : Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.

7:00 pm : Watch Sportscenter.

7:30 pm : Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20oz. New York strip sirloin.

9:00 pm : Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.

10:00 pm : Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.

11:00 pm : Massage and Jacuzzi.

11:45 pm : Go to bed.

11:46 pm : One last blowjob.

11:59 pm : Let loose a 14 second, fluctuating 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.

12:00 am : Laugh yourself to sleep.