Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his girlfriend, Mary
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said, "Where the hell is your cherry?"

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
My husband will be home in five minutes

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Said, "Yech!"

Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And said, "Hey babe, what's in the bowl?"