Night Owl, your comment that the page about trauma should be approached slowly got to me. I had twin daughters die at birth about 21 years ago. I still haven't faced that. At the time, people around me were very cold and not understanding... comments like, why are you always thinking about death - you're so depressing. I guess because most people I knew were so young they had not even experienced grief yet. With my parents death a couple of years before the twins, at least I had my siblings who understood losing parents. I think they, too, were in too much shock to deal with more. Like your story, many levels of loss overlap. Sometimes it is a matter of survival to just numb out and keep going without talking about it. You've made me think about finding a way to connect with people who could understand.