Here are some more possibilities for what to put on your headstone...

1. "What are YOU lookin' at?"

2. "Your fly is open..."

3. "Out to lunch."

4. "Post no bills."

5. "George Washington didn't sleep here."

6. "78 miles to Schenectady." (alter distance as appropriate to your location...the humour in this is...who the hell wants to go to Shenectady?)

7. Mount a red button on the front (like a doorbell button), with a plaque below it saying "Don't Push This Button".

When they do, a jet of water shoots out of a little nozzle mounted on the tombstone, and hits 'em in the face.

The plaque then flips around to display the message "I TOLD You Not To Push It!" Whole device then resets itself, and waits for next visitor.

- LH