LaMarca is correct about the Berrymans and their wacky songs. Here are the lyrics.

ALPHABET POLKA

1988 by Lou & Peter Berryman, recorded on “Your State’s Name Here,” lyrics as printed in: “The New Berryman Berryman Songbook”(c. 1989, Lou & Peter Berryman, Madison, WI)

Darlin’ if we ever don’t remember what to do,
I wrote down the A B C’s of bein’ me ‘n’ you
A is for Anxiety, the worst that it can get.
B if for Bulimia. we haven’t had it yet.
C’s for Catatonic, which is easy on our shoes.
D is for Depression, which begins right after news.
E if for Euphoria, a hollow kind of glee.
F is for a Phobia (or does that start with P?).

CHORUS: You came in, fell apart, had some lunch, stole my heart.
For five long years we trembled on the sofa.
Now there’s no time for that. Life’s too short we’re too fat.
So let’s go out and polka, polka, polka.

G is for the Guilt that comes in fifty-gallon drums.
H is for Hallucinations. Look out, here it comes!
I is for Insanity that no one can explain.
J is for the Jealousy we’re feeling for the sane.
K is Kleptomania. We may as well try that.
L is for Lobotomy, so hang on to your hat.
M is for the Madhouse where they’re saving us a chair.
N is for Neurosis which will prob’ly get us there. CHORUS

O is for Obsessions that have brought us to our knees.
P is for Psychosis that has turned us into cheese.
Q is for the Quivering that we do every day.
R is for the Relapse that is surely on the way.
S is Schizophrenia that comes in awful close.
T is for the Tranquilizers we took by the gross.
U is for the Undertow in every coffee cup.
V is for the Vertigo we got from growing up. CHORUS

W’s the Worry that we lost the human race.
X is for the Xerox that I’m saving of your face.
Y is for the Yesterday that you have seen me through.
Z is for the Zombie who is still in love with you. CHORUS

rich r

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 17-Apr-02.