Thanks folks. These are great. And those of you who have mouthed off to cops don't need to apologize to me. There are some idiots out there with guns and uniforms that scare me, too. Some of them are on my department.

I have another to add: While patrolling a camp ground, some recent arrivals from Eastern Europe stopped me and angrily handed me a plastic grocery bag that obviously had a dead animal in it. They started yelling that a vicious raccoon entered their campsite, so they beat it to death with sticks. They were very upset that they weren't warned that there would be animals in the woods. I informed them that this is where they live. (there's some stupid rule that says law enforcement people aren't supposed to be sarcastic, but it's a stupid rule). I looked in the bag and since it was dark out, I could just barely see the raccoon, so I returned to the office and tossed it in a dumpster. I wrote a report on the incident and left my chief a note telling him where i put the raccoon, in case he wanted to check. When I got back to work the next evening, he left me a note: Good report, only type it over and change "raccoon" to "baby groundhog".