Someone recently sent me these typos from church bulletins:

•"Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers.' Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time!"

•"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you."

•"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."

•"The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel."

•"Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."

•"The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility."

•"Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. - prayer and medication to follow."

•"This evening at 7 p.m. will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."

•"The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday."

Genie

P.S., There were some other gems in this forwarded email, but they weren't, strictly speaking, "typos."