I can understand how bad you feel, and I think finding a place to express that has been and is a good idea and appropriate. But once you have reached the other side of this, after dealing with your own feelings about it, you will have to realize that it is't, ultimately, about you, and how bad you feel.... it's about the owner. You have lots of options in dealing with the owner. One of them is to let the owner set the tone, and respect that they will give you a signal about what they need from you in response. It will be something totally individual-- you cannot offer help based on what worked for someone else.... what will be needed is something fresh and new for THIS situation, based on your accurate reading of what THIS person seems to need.

~Susan