Dearest Mr. Spaw :

Re your advert of whenever it was that I saw it, I would like to be considered, if you have the time and motivation, for the position of Junior Layabout at Large.

Note, if you will, that my experience fully supports my qualifications for this position. I am sure you'll take my word on that until such time as I get around to getting someone to do up a CV for me. In the meantime, just let me say that I am sure you will not be able to find a candidate of lower calibre for this position. However, if you actually seek one and should you actually find one, just as well, because I really don't know how I could fit any more dogs in my schedule.

Puppies are free... take two on your way out and shut the door behind you.

Sincerely,