Macca: Thanks for setting me straight on the lyrics. I thought it was "I Do Love..." and that's probably why I failed to find it on the Internet. I enjoyed your description of "holidaymakers with handkerchiefs on their heads..." It reminds me of something I might have seen on Monty Python, or something Hyacinth Bucket's brother-in-law Onslow might do. I'm afraid we Americans might miss some of the humor in those programs because we haven't seen the originals that are being parodied. My brother-in-law, who once worked as a barman at a Butlins Holiday Camp, has filled me in on some of the details, but there are others I'm eager to learn. For instance, I believe there is a whole slew of old music hall songs that might be familiar (to the point of nausea in some cases) to everyone in Britain but are virtually unknown in America. Other examples: "Knees Up, Mother Brown," "Maybe It's Because I'm a Londoner," and "The Bull and Bush." I'll probably start a thread on that subject someday.

Commentary copied from http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/coastline/visit/seaside_holidays.html

"I Do Like To Be Beside the Seaside" was composed in 1907 and first made famous by music hall artiste Mark Sheridan in the 1920s. It became a perennial favourite of holidaymakers, not least because it was almost the signature tune of Reginald Dixon MBE who entertained holiday crowds on the mighty Wurlitzer organ at Blackpool Tower Ballroom for 40 years between 1930 and 1970.

A midi is available here: http://www.choirmidi.nl/mids/besidese.mid

Lyrics copied from: http://web.ukonline.co.uk/clarissa/draft05.html
(In the midst of a scholarly dissertation whose abstract begins, "Following a super summer holiday I decided to explore the experience of being at the seaside and writing about it...")

I DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE
(John A. Glover-Kind, 1907)

Everyone delights to spend their summer's holiday
Down beside the side of the silvery sea.
I'm no exception to the rule. In fact, if I'd my way,
I'd reside by the side of the silvery sea.
But when you're just the common or garden Smith or Jones or Brown,
At bus'ness up in town,
You've got to settle down.
You save up all the money you can till summer comes around,
Then away you go
To a spot you know
Where the cockle shells are found.

CHO: Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside.
I do like to be beside the sea!
I do like to stroll upon the Prom, Prom, Prom!
Where the brass bands play: "Tiddely-om-pom-pom!"
So just let me be beside the seaside.
I'll be beside myself with glee.
And there's lots of girls beside
I should like to be beside
Beside the seaside!
Beside the sea!

William Sykes, the burglar, he'd been out to work one night,
Filled his bag with jewels, cash, and plate.
Constable Brown felt quite surprised when William hove in sight.
Said he: "The hours you're keeping are far too late."
So he grabbed him by the collar and lodged him safe and sound in jail.
Next morning, looking pale,
Bill told a tearful tale.
The judge said, "For a couple of months I'm sending you away!"
Said Bill: "How kind!
Well! If you don't mind
Where I spend my holiday!" CHO.