Penny, you said "I find the arguments that rape is mainly about sex deeply disturbing. " I don't know too many folks who argue that it is PRIMARILY about sex. It's pretty obvious that it's nearly an act of domination (power demonstration) and nearly always of hostility.

Don't forget, though, that there are people whose sexual urges are intricately bound up with the need to dominate or be dominated. The fact that BD/SM may be considered a perversion does not negate the fact that it is an aspect of the sexuality of those people.

Raping a woman to get back at your enemy via his mother, daughter, sister, etc., though, does not seem to have sexual fulfillment, even in its less refined manifestation, as its primary driver.

Penny