Aine, thank heavens you're back -- I'd have no creative life whatsoever without you. Some would say I haven't much in any case.

Try on this Underwear
(Tune = Take off your thirsty boots, by Eric Anderson)

The girls are wearing boxer shorts
Or boring cotton briefs
From L.L. Bean or other dorks
They've only brought you grief
But the plain white bras, and boxer shorts
Will soon be hid in shame
Once they've put on the lace and silk
It won't come off again

CHORUS: So try on this underwear
And let's see you strut
The diamond-studded wonderbra
Makes you look a high-price slut
And maybe I can sell you one
And maybe I can try
I'm just looking for a bustier
Or a teddy in your size.

I know you're not a model on
The fashion mogul's trail
But even you can bill and coo
And wag a little tail
Try this Givenchy garter belt
And Lauren's fishnet hose
They're bargain basement, priced to sell
From London's finest shows.

(Chorus)

Lace teddies and Stiletto heels
With a little french perfume
Will change the way men look at you
When you walk in a room --
Just do not get too curious
Why it's selling for a song
It's genuine, I swear, although
The label tags are gone.

Chorus.