Some folks find it easier to play by ear, some find it easier to read. It's best to be able to do both, which is a matter of doing both badly often enough, until you can do them well.

If you can only learn by ear, you can only learn the tunes that others around you play. I've got four published selections of traditional dance tunes at home, each with over a thousand tunes, and very little overlap between them. Local sessions use maybe a couple of dozen tunes.

Now, I play a duet concertina, which works a bit like a piano, but is easier to get into a taxi. I learn the tune (right hand) off music mostly, but I fit in the bass (left hand) instinctively. Sometimes I am astonished at what my left hand has just played, and have to go through it slowly to work out what I did. This began to happen after I'd played enough. (BTW, I never had lessons, cause I never found anyone else who could play a box like mine - it's as rare as rocking-horse shit, apparently. I just made the whole thing up.) I guess this isn't much help to Terry K above, but I guess its how piano players do it. Just keep playing around with the instrument, and remember that "play" suggests fun.

It still takes me a lot of time and effort to work a tune out by ear, unlike a friend of mine who can play anything he hears but can't read music. Between us, we make one decent musician. It's important to know your limits, and do what you can within them. Oh yes, and from time to time, bump up against them in case they move. They do move, believe me.

Andrew