I'll leave that for someone else. But here's a cheerful song.

I'm a Duffer-cat and I'm all right.
I sleeps all day and I post all night.
CHORUS: He's a Duffer-cat and he's all right,
He sleeps all day and he posts all night.

I sing old songs, and I write rude words
on the wall at the lavatory.
Whatever anybody says,
I am sure to disagree.
CHORUS: He's a Duffer-cat and he's all right,
He sleeps all day and he posts all night.

I'm gentle as a sparrow,
I'm just a little pet
If anybody's nasty
I sometimes get upset

I knock them down, I pick them up,
I knock them down once more
I cut them into pieces
So they won't do that no more.

He knocks them down,he picks them up,
He knocks them down once more
He cuts them into pieces
No they won't do that no more.
CHORUS: He's a Duffer-cat and he's all right,
He sleeps all day and he posts all night.

I cuts them into pieces
and I eats them for my tea
Then I sing a song about it
With a modal melody.

He cuts them into pieces
and he eats them for my tea
Then he sings a song about it
With a modal melody.
CHORUS: He's a Duffer-cat and he's all right,
He sleeps all day and he posts all night.

That'll larn 'em...