NB: I haven't posted since the original posting - been in hospital for stress-related heart checks. I am female and have always co-operated with people, been community-minded and had the philosophy of treating others how I .. etc.. But, just this last week or so (in many aspects of life, not just music) have received so many messages that I am naive, (some!)humans are increasingly opportunistic and far from seeing the benefits of community co-operation are, basically, out for themselves. This has been a hard pill to swallow - that in order not to be systematically fleeced of time, money, effort I cannot give of those unless I am prepared to literally give them away - I mean I have never gone along with the line of reciprocity (I'll do this for you if you do this for me) instead that by putting something into the collective Universal goodwill pot (whatever, is spread around and makes everyone a bit happier, healthier, wealthier).

I have a letter in front of me attacking me because I queried the amount of money someone is repaying me + my neighbour is just literally laughing in my face because I need the money back now that I loaned them, in their time of crisis, in order to feed my kids.

Folk-wise - I've cheerfully promoted the Godfather's club's events and gigs, disseminated their information. I booked an artist who is internationally lauded as excellent but unknown outside the F/world - thus, please, could they, just this once, let their club members know directly - very much appreciated etc as I've never booked an artist before and am nervous about adequate publicity efforts (have paid the going rate to them for an advert) just a small email stating Date/time/etc - that's all! Zip, zilch, big fat zero - and as said in original post the same has happened to other 'young' club organisers.

Someone posted about sharers /non-sharers feeling secure / insecure: absolutely! I've always shared because I feel secure - now, I realise I must learn to be discerning of those whom I share with.

I guess I felt acutely disappointed because I have felt so at home and welcomed in the folk world and have made wonderful friends so, it came as a bit of a shock (in the same week or so of a lot of other stuff).

Guess I was just 'naive': I'd heard of a local folk Mafia - just hadn't worked out what it actually meant and who it was and what the implications were. My real friends (including those here) laughed like a drain at the mention of a folk mafia and knew who and what I was talking about before I'd even explained the whole circumstances and basically say 'Ignore them!' Well, they want to ignore enthusiasm and energy - I'll direct it towards it to those people who can and will happily use it. Sort of Biblical parable of the 10 silver/gold talents (is it?) One person went and buried them - keeping them intact but not using them; the second squandered them and had nothing left, and the third went and invested the money multiplying the original gift. (Something like that! :)

PLEASE don't have a go back at me about being whingeing and self-pitying - that is not the case at all. I was genuinely baffled/upset. This week has been a steep learning curve - I feel like I've been fundamentally 'got at' to STOP being so unconditionally generous with time, effort,committment - ending up in hospital on an ECG was unpleasant and specifically being asked if I had been especially stressed.