This is the best I can make of it.
There is an old song called Paddy's Dream that I'll post up later.
Regards Mick Bracken

PADDY'S DREAM
(from Wolfe Tones)

Once upon a time, I was invited by an old friend of mine
To come over to his residence and taste his beer and wine
Well we ate lobster salad and lots of other truck
And we drank each other's health until the hour of three had struck
Well we drank until we didn't know which was wine or beer
That our heads felt rather heavy, and my brains not very clear
Well how I got home that night, I don't really know, my prayers I think I said,
But anyhow, I was paralysed when I got into bed

Well I died and I went to heaven, I found that repentance was now for me too late
When suddenly I was ushered before the golden gates
"Well what do you want?" says Peter, "don't you know you cant get in?
For you must surely suffer, that greedy glutton's sin"
Then I turned aside and said no more, and turned my head in shame
And Peter's clerk, he's stood close by and he wrote, Lost, against my name

Well next came an Italian, one who I knew very well
So I stopped and I listened patiently, to the story he might tell
"Ah da good da father Saint Pedro, I come a to you a at last
My peanut days are over, my banana nights are pasta
I treat my neighbour like a myself, no begs no robs no steal
I never run a da sidewalks, I throwa mya banana da peel"
"When you got out", says Peter, "your gains were ill begotten
Your peanut shells were empty, your bananas, oft times rotten"
Well the Italian turned aside, and a tear was in his eye
He came and stood behind me, and heaved a heavy sigh

Well next came an aged Hebrew, with a satchel in his hand
And before the gate of old St. Peter, the Hebrew stood his stand
"Ah the good father Peter, I vill tell you what ve'll do
I've got jewellery fit for hangels, I vill hauction off to you
I could sell them on the instalment plan, but that would be a sin
So, I will give them to you for half price, if you vill let me in
On earth I keep a clothing store, my goods are nice and strong
And to show you, I have an over coat, I forgets to bring along
"Are you deluded well", says Peter, "for very well you know
There's little use for overcoats, where you will have to go"
Well the Hebrew turned aside, and as he was a friend of mine
Just like me and all the rest, he took his place in line

Well next came an old maid from England, one bound to have her way
So she began addressing Peter, in this most peculiar way
"Oh goodness gracious me, here I am after gossiping many a year
So open the gate and let me in, I'm catching cold out here
And give me a first class pair of wings, a silver shield and then
I won't be afraid of those naughty naughty men
"No" Peter answered bluntly "no angels have grey hair
And as you have no sons or daughter, you'd be a stranger there"
Well the poor old maid wilted, she must ever more opine
And just like me and all the rest, she waddled into line

Well next came poor Paddy, a son of Erin's Isle
And he greeted old St Peter with a very gracious smile
"Ha ha, it's yourself, St Peter, looking so nice and sweet
So get yer clerk to let me in and show me to me seat"
"Hold" cried Peter "your case like all the rest must first be tried
And you will have to show a passport, before you get inside"
"Fer Jasus sake St Peter, or for supper I'll be late"
So poor Paddy, he took of his little ould cap, and he threw it inside the gate
"Go get thy hat" says Peter, "thou sacrilegious lout"
So poor Paddy he went, and he slammed the gate, and he locked St Peter out

Then, then through the keyhole, loud he cried,
"Ya ha ha me boyo, I'm the master now yer see
But I'll give up heaven the gate and the crown
If you'll set the Six Counties free
Well then I awoke, and found that my head was between the bed and the wall
The sheets were all tangled round my feet 'twas the beer that did it all