Maybe I'm just tired, but I don't feel like tweaking these lyrics any more--at least not tonight --, so here goes:

Lap Pool Croc
Parody lyrics by Genie
Tune: "Jailhouse Rock" by Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller

Coach Davies threw a crock into the racing pool.
The swimmers shouted out, "Hey, coach, that's just not cool!"
As they were jumpin' in, the croc was on their tails.
You should've seen those freaked out Aussies flail
From shock, those bikini-clad Jocks!.
Everybody's burnin' up the clock
Just fleein' from the Lap Pool Croc.

Sheila Murphy smoothed her Speedo 'round her tush,
Her arms were like propellors, didn't need no push!
The swimmer boy from Illinois went "splosh, splish, splash! "--
Five hundred meters in a lightning flash!
Let's rock, you aquatical Jocks!.
Everybody's burnin' up the clock
Just fleein' from the Lap Pool Croc.

A minute forty-seven for a mile point three,
Reptilians in the water make ya wanna pee.
I'd be a bit distracted by their company,
Don't wanna have no Lap Pool Croc with me."
Let's rock, you hyper-energized Jocks!
Everybody's burnin' up the clock
Retreatin' from the Lap Pool Croc.

Casuarina city council members say,
"Hey, Man, Ya can't abuse our pool that way!"
Then PETA shows up and hollers, "Croc abuse!
If he's on the team, ya gotta cut 'im loose!"
Let's rock! Let's undo that jaw lock!
We'll be tearin' up that timin' clock
When the tape is off that Lap Pool Croc!

Now the
Bad gator's on the tail of Bryan Stone,
Breakin' world records on his very own,
Croc passed 'em all, a-shoutin' out, "Lord! Lord!
Now watch what I can do off of that old high board!"
Let's rock! Timer's runnin', tick-tock!
Everybody's burnin' up the clock
Includin' that ol' Lap Pool Croc.

Coach Davies told the Darwin Telegraph,
"The gator in the pool has cut our time in half."
Then he said to PETA, "Aw, go take a walk!
I can't wait to get that 'gator in my wok!"
It's shlock! This competition's a crock!
I'm visualizin' that ol' croc
A-sizzlin' in my heirloom wok!