Shane carefully scans the bar for the hottest Babe in the joint, finally settling on Pocahontas, the cigar store wooden Indian maiden in the corner near the jukebox. He takes a deep breath, pushes his baseball cap back to a jauntier angle, thus exposing the lozenge-shaped tan mark on his forehead, and approaches her...

She shows no reaction. "She's playin' it cool," he thinks. "Them kind are the really hot ones once ya break the ice..."

He sidles up to her casually and trips over the roving pool ball, landing flat on his face at her feet, and spilling his beer. "Flip MEEEEE!!!" he yells, forlornly.

Staggering back to his feet, Shane checks out his beer. 95% of it is gone. "Aw, PLOTZ!!!" He considers sucking the remains up out of the carpet, but even Shane has some scruples.

"So, like, how's it goin', eh?" he remarks to Pocahontas, who stares woodenly past his shoulder. "Betcha that looked real, eh? I used ta, like, be a stunt man in Hollywood, and fall off roofs and stuff. You mighta seen me in Spiderman, eh? I was in the scene with the wrestling. Hey, d' you like wrestling? I've, like, got all the wrestling mags y' can spit at over t' my place, eh? Y' wanna come and see 'em?"

A pause... ("This one really plays it cool" thinks Shane.)

"Hey, get this girl a flippin' beer!" he yells. "It's on me."

- LH