Mr Happy,
zero is not a number, it is a symbol which indicates the absence of a number. You may have all kinds of fun pretending that it is a number and wondering how it would behave if it were. But never lose sight of the fact that it means NOTHING and therefore it symbolizes something that doesn't even exist.

He had bought a large map representing the sea, Without the least vestige of land: And the crew were much pleased when they found it to be A map they could all understand.

"What's the good of Mercator's North Poles and Equators, Tropics, Zones, and Meridian Lines?" So the Bellman would cry: and the crew would reply "They are merely conventional signs!

"Other maps are such shapes, with their islands and capes! But we've got our brave Captain to thank: (So the crew would protest) "that he's bought us the best-- A perfect and absolute blank!"