OK so I should have looked at the book I was recommending!!

Dr Mark - Bratling was a lovely baby, placid, sociable and easy. In fact, I had to take a photo of her crying because some people never believed she cried! It's only the last 3 years that it's gone downhill..... she's too much her mothers' daughter.

Celtic Soul - 'Mommy instincts' have to be translated first. Several times my 'mommy instinct' has been to beat the little darling senseless..... what it was actually telling me was 'it's time to get professional help with this, because otherwise it's the funny farm or prison'. Consequently, life is manageable. Not easier, just manageable. Is there a time limit on post natal depression? Sometimes it's really hard to translate the instinct.

Getting back to the original problem - maybe the toys, music thing is too much stimulation? I know that Phoebe Bratling will force herself to stay awake for hours if the external stimulus is attractive to her. Having said that, she slept all the way through a 'Boys of the Lough' concert at 2 months old and frequently through rowdy sessions until the age of 2 (when she got too mobile and voluble to control without riot gear), with no problem. Have they tried just sitting quietly in the room with her? Studies have shown that children who learn to sleep in a noisy environment have trouble in sleeping in a quiet one. I know it took me years to get over not sleeping with my sister (in the same room, not literally..... shame on you!) because she was a fidgeter and needed music on softly. Now it's the opposite way round, I sleep with a snorer and he frequently wakes me with the snoring.

White noise (radio tuned just off station, vacuum, washer/dryer or fridge humming in the background) is good, it's not complete silence, which is distressing enough or sudden noises which continually trigger the 'fight or flight/interest' reflexes. Again, having the room completely dark can also trigger the fight or flight reflex so a dim light can help.

I hope that all of them are getting some sleep.... one thing you must realise is that just because (if this IS the case) one parent goes out to work and the other stays at home looking after Junior, it is not the Godgiven right of the working parent to get all the sleep. A tired carer is more likely to misjudge feed temperatures, misjudge distances, be clumsier and mishandle baby, be crabbier and easier to provoke, harm the child deliberately or become a victim of post natal depression. You BOTH need to sleep, but it needs to be equal. You BOTH need to learn a routine and stick to it whereby one is on duty whilst the other takes time out for themselves to sleep, relax, get excercise/fresh air, get away from the situation and recharge. With more relaxed parents, the child should become more relaxed and easier to send to sleep too.

LTS