You don't scare us one bit, fogie... :-)

Moving on from folksingers, I fantasized a lot about Diana Rigg back in the 60's and 70's, and more recently about Winona Ryder (Spaw has made fun of me for this, and is no doubt enjoying my discomfiture at her present legal problems...poor girl seems to have lost her sense of perspective).

I used to fantasize about being famous too, but not anymore. I now look upon it as a seductive trap, rather akin to landing in a huge tarpit or an inescapable briar patch...and I'm not a rabbit. If I had ever become "as big as Elvis" (to quote Dylan) it probably would have killed me long ago.

I have also fantasized about having magic powers, such as the ability to cause all bombs, bullets, missiles, etc. to return immediately and directly upon the heads of those who fire them. Ditto for handheld weapons like machetes, etc., and even for fists. This would soon end war, and the meek would indeed inherit the Earth.

I would also cause 55,000 squealing pigs to stampede through the US Congress when it was in session...just for the hell of it, and I would fill the White House from floor to ceiling with ping pong balls in the middle of the night, causing Dubya to become disoriented upon waking up in the morning. These would make for great news coverage on CNN.

Oh, and nuclear tests...I would arrange to have NOTHING happen at detonation time...nothing at all...except that a little flag would pop up with the word "BOOM!" on it. This would continue happening until the scientists and military people had nervous breakdowns or just gave up on the whole thing.

- LH