John, don't entertain for a nanosecond the concept that I was impugning your ability to analyse a situation. Oakley was obviously calorifically challenged, and the blighter got off lightly. I'd mix up me films and me metaphors, have stuck two chips up his nose, doused him in vinegar, and enjoyed his liver with a fine chianti. It was a prima facae case of common theft, and if it wasn't for decent-minded people like you, villains like that would be costing us dearly living the life of Reilly in Hedon Road holiday camp.

Gary