The Bare Bums Of Meldorf
(Tune: The Streets Of Laredo)

As I herded my sheep down the streets of old Meldorf,
I spied a small sign, 'Buck Reads Bare Bums,' it said,
My red, trail-worn cheeks, they parted in laughter,
A bright idea shooting straight up to my head.

For years I'd been dealing with the Miser of Mencken,
A burg just a few twists and turns down the road,
And tired of his cheatin' and beatin' my price down,
I thought of a way to drain his motherlode.

The dogs heard my whistle, and going to work,
They halted the flock just outside the Bucks' door,
With a ewe in each arm, I bravely strode forward,
And soon we were standing on the living room floor.

I have to say here, that old Ulf is a nice man,
With smooth and warm hands, and a beautiful wife,
Though laughed at by some, his fervant endeavour,
Is to help all his clients lead a well and full life.

In the space of an hour, three bums bared and well read,
Myself and my flock, we were back on the trail,
And as we traversed up the mountain to Mencken,
I tried to ponder my fate, but to no avail.

No more did that miser cheat me out of money,
That Ulf Buck of Meldorf, he changed my whole life,
Of all of the futures he's read, mine's the strangest,
For now I am rich with a be-ewe-ti-ful wife!


(insert sheepish grin here . . .)