Elephant to mouse: "Why are you so small?"

Mouse: "I've been ill."

Why do moths have small balls? Not many of them can dance.

Why do moths fly with their legs apart? Have you seen the size of moth balls?

What do you have if you are holding a green ball in each hand?

The complete and undivided attention of a Leprechaun.

And from a much missed celtic website which I'm too smashed to remember the name of.....

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandpa, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes."

"If a man is alone in a forest with no woman around to hear, is he still wrong?"

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."

"Make something idiot proof and sure enough along comes a better idiot...."

"Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate clauses."