Gerry, I really regret mentioning your sexual health. Les, if I wrote about the GUM clinic in Grimsby, you would invite people to a session afterwards, you varmint, you.

Anyway, I now have to negotiate with 18 reluctant freisians to move from the bottom field, to the bank field, without Moo to halt the traffic. All this after power-drinking with the Humberside Police Special Whistle Division, for an entire afternoon. He was crap at it and became skittish, by the way.

Mrs Drinkall has returned sun-burnt and grinning from ear to ear, clutching gifts. "Lodger" Frank has gone to the club with Terry and George; Doreen to wherever she goes on a Monday. So peace and order is restored to this tiny part of rural North Linconlshire. In the UK, you Americans, you.

Another hour; another 22p. Milk Marque is not universally a good thing.