Seldom do I take issue with me mate Ossonflags, but how could an invitation to put faeces to our names, in the opening post, degenerate further? Mick, you are not too big to be bent across my knee, to allow Mr. and Mrs. spank to pay a visit to botty - land. Hmmmm...I have just revised my position on that and realised that you probably are.

I do hope that this doesn't become an opportunity for troubled souls, to drivel on about bowels, toilet paper, the laxative effect of bannnannnas or pulling up stools. But the signs are not good.

And jOhn, a personal message: Grrrrrrr.