jOhn, I'm on the horns of a dilemma, old love. The long-suffering but ever-present Mrs S has taken our daughter and run off home to mother for a scheduled visit. That leaves me with an empty house, as two other little people that share it with the memsahib and me 9allegidly my issue) have buggered off to yoof club, and won't have finished their alcopops until 9.30pm. Mother thinks I'm staying in all night, and in short, I'm buckered if I know what to do. Urkley is coming on the soot-encrusted bicycle, I do know that, but my plans are still....er.....fluid. There's the Sloop, too, see......

Sireen, I'm missing the Archers.........