Yes, Bill, I'm finally here. The song cycle "Seven Beers" started life, I think, as a C&W song called "Seven Years with the Wrong Woman," written by Bob Miller and sung by several artists, including even Gene Autry.

At some time after that (probably one or two days, or weeks at most, "Seven Years with the Wrong Man" was penned, also by Mr. Miller. I don't know when the first "Beers" parody happened, but it might even have been BEFORE the "Years" songs, and they are actually parodies of it. The "Woman" version goes like this:


SEVEN BEERS WITH THE WRONG WOMAN

Seven beers with the wrong woman, we sat at a table for two.
First thing I know, she whispered, "Boy, I could sure go for you!"
My heart beat a little bit faster, as I held her sweet little hand.
I swelled up with pride, but oh, how she lied! I sure was a foolish young man.

Seven beers with the wrong woman, she made me get up and dance.
Around and 'round we circled, till I missed the wallet from my pants.
I asked her if she had seen it. She smiled up at me and said, "No."
To this day to me it's a big mystery. I wonder just where it did go.

Seven beers with the wrong woman, her HUSBAND came in after that.
Soon as he spied us together, he walked up and gave me a bat.
He took me by the seat of my britches. Oh, boy, he sure pulled up the slack!
Then I got tossed out the door by the boss, who told me to never come back.

Seven beers with the wrong woman, it's left me only regret.
I know, now, she was lyin' when she called me her darling and pet.
I wish the Lord had made Adam, and then never made anyone else.
One thing I know, the next place I go, I'm gonna buy fourteen beers for myself!


I learned this one from an older Arhoolie record by Alice Stuart -- a great record, and home to another song that I never learned, but always liked, called "Beatnik!"

(Now, when I submit this, it's likely to lose the hard returns, isn't it? I'll have to look up again how to fix that when I type stuff in.)