I just got a postcard from my son in France. He really is feathered and flown, as the poem says -- and he's never actually lived with me since he was 8, except for some weekends and summer vacations, maybe two to (max) three weeks at a stretch, which were always very precious to me. Still, he identifies with my side of the family, takes after (and adores) Amos, and others of our clan. He doesn't think of my house as home -- he's always lived at my ex's house, which we bought together when he was an infant. So I could beat myself up about having failed him as a parent & a mom, if I were depressed.

I wonder if women need to talk about this more than men do. My ex has really been hit very hard by having both kids plus grandson so far away, but I don't think he'd ever "chat" about it.

Divorces and household moves and jet airplanes sure have changed the dynamics of families. It's not an easy transition.