Jeri, I think you're right about the attractiveness of people who exude self-acceptance and self-confidence.  Unfortunately, a major source of one's self-image is the reactions of others (especially during the "formative" years).  If you grow up constantly bombarded with information that says that (a) appearance is very important, and (b) your appearance is not attractive, it is a lot harder to have that kind of self-confidence than if one or both of those messages were less pronounced.  I have known people of both sexes who were, in an "objective" sense, not much to look at but who were extremely comfortable in their own skins and conveyed a great sense of confidence in their own sexual attractiveness.  If I knew how you get that kind of confidence, I'd bottle it and make a fortune!

Blackcatter, I don't think you and I disagree much on the issue of culturally accepted shapes.