Genie, Yes, I think you have it right about confidence. But conversely, there are people who objectively speaking are very attractive by any standards, normal weight, etc. but who have a poor self image and THEY don't think they're attractive. It usually stems from being overweight or having some other appearance problem in childhood or adolescence. Those people tend to have the same problems as "unattractive" people when it comes to getting dates or finding a partner. I remember a letter once to Ann Landers (may she RIP) from a woman who freely admitted that she was very overweight. But, she said she dressed stylishly, making no effort to hide her figure, was outgoing and friendly, and had no problem getting boyfriends. As a matter of fact she said she'd just been on a European vacation with her (slim) boyfriend and was hit on by several other men, much to his chagrin. Her final comment "I feel attractive, act like I'm attractive, and I'm treated as such!" By the way if you find a way to bottle that confidence formula I'll be your first customer! (Actually, that's probably what drugs like speed or cocaine do - so maybe I'll pass, now that I think about it!). This has been an interesting thread!