I'm afraid I can't be much help with the original question, but the song about the chastity belt (DMcG's third link) reminds me. . . .

The Lord of the Castle was leaving for the crusades, and in the manner of many of that "beknighted" age, he locked his beautiful young wife in a chastity belt. It did occur to him, however, that he might fall to the blow of a Saracen's sword while on his holy mission, and it would certainly not be fair to his young wife to leave her thus constrained for the rest of her life should he never return. He racked his brain, trying to decide who he could trust to leave the key with. At length, he decided to leave it with an Old Family Retainer, an eighty-year-old servant, old, weak, and doddering, a trusted menial who had been with the family for as long as he could remember.

The Lord of the Castle and his troops set out upon the road. They had not gone for more that a few miles when they saw a cloud of dust behind them. They stopped to see who or what it was. Soon the Old Family Retainer hove into view, running as fast as his spindly legs could carry him.

"Milord! Milord!" shouted the Old Family Retainer, "you left the wrong key!!"

Don Firth