The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #50459   Message #765197
Posted By: GUEST
14-Aug-02 - 12:24 PM
Thread Name: BS: Just Kidding?
Subject: Just Kidding?
Here is an article for general consumption, found at the MSN/Monster.com website today. I thought it appropriate to post in light of the current debate about "socially acceptable humor" in the workplace. I think there are correlations which could be used to good effect here.

And I expect certain members who find any contribution by anon guests to be immediately suspect, will let us all know how tyrannically PC and prudish this article is. There seem to be a lot of people who inhabit Mudcat who don't face today's workplace on a daily basis, who appear to have some problems getting their heads around the contemporary social standards of "acceptable humor". Maybe reading about it will help them understand where some of us who are still negotiating the "acceptable humor" standards on a daily basis, in adult company, are coming from. Or not.

Just Kidding?

Reconciling Humor with Respect by Sondra Thiederman, PhD Laughter is a great antidote for workplace stress and tedium. Jokes, humor and teasing all create a light atmosphere in which teams are formed, friendships cemented, and energy and productivity increased. That is, if the jokes, humor and teasing are not at the expense of any one group of employees. Jokes, for example, that denigrate women, minorities or gay people can be hurtful, divisive and, in the worst cases, grounds for discrimination suits. Managers and employees face the challenge of encouraging respect for diversity without stifling the levity we all crave in our fast-paced lives.

Many employees have resisted changing the nature of their humor, because they never understood why particular jokes were a problem. After all, they reason, if no member of the targeted group is within earshot, no harm done. What they forget is you never know who can hear the joke from another room or will learn through the grapevine that the offending comment was made. Also, how do you know someone who is listening is in fact not a member of the group being joked about? It is impossible to know, for example, whether someone is gay or has an ethnic or racially mixed heritage.

But there is an even more important reason for avoiding potentially offensive humor. Let's assume that the people who hear the joke or comment are not of the group being joked about, no team member from the group will ever know the joke has been told and the people listening have no negative feelings about what has been said. Even under these unlikely circumstances, there is still a problem. Telling potentially offensive jokes and comments sends a message to all team members, regardless of gender, race or background, that your workplace is one in which it is acceptable to make fun of people and respect for individuals of all backgrounds is not truly valued. That is the single most important reason to make an effort to use humor that does not depend on denigrating particular groups.

Another element confusing the issue is that sometimes women and minorities tell jokes about themselves and even laugh when others tell them. The logic is clear and understandable: "If they can tell those jokes, why can't I?" It may surprise you to hear it is no more acceptable for a member of a group to tell a joke about the group than it is for a nonmember. No matter who is telling the joke, the behavior contributes to an atmosphere of disrespect and discomfort.

Also, the fact that a person laughs at an inappropriate joke does not necessarily mean he or she is comfortable. Think about it. Have you ever gone along with a comment or joke that upset you just because you did not want to appear judgmental or uptight? All people are prone to do this, especially when they feel left out or at a disadvantage. The last thing any person who feels like an outsider wants to do is separate himself further by not going along with the program. If you recall a time when you were the outsider, you will no doubt remember the same urge to blend in and ignore offensive comments or behavior.