I understand you, sorry i have no ideas how to help you, the only bit of advice I feel able to give is this=Try to make sure you eat well, ie plenty of fruit and veg etc, this may seem like silly & irrelevant advice, but a lot of alcoholics have malnutrition, also if you are eating healthily you will soon feel better in general, and hopefully be more able to cope with the drink problem. Also many people drink too much to try to take there minds off other problems, maybe without even realising it, do you have problems at work for example, a job you don't like or other kinds of stress, if you have recently started drinking heavily try to figure out why.best of luck.john