Bein' a northerner ,of the New York persuasion, whom chose to make a home in as far South as I care to go ( Yeah, I know Northern Virginia is no longer considered bonafied Southern ) them thar Southern Rules of youn need a tad amendin' 'ccordin' to mah observins'.....in no particular rhyme or reason.

Please note *truth in labeling8 required smiley face. ;-)

(quote) "1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym."

And that be why he be slope-shouldered and is just as likely to also to be growin' and knowin' where to haul off to market bales of homegrown marijuana because of the "better" price he know'd he can git.

(quote) "2. It's called a 'gravel road,' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way."

This much promoted myth about elite "city folk" applies just as much to Southerners with *means* who are far more at home suckin' down drinks at the *have pedigreed horse need apply* country club than anything of the so-called plantation roots they love to reminiss over whilst smoozin' with their local politician whose in their pocket for the goin' price.

(quote) "6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for ... bait."

Well tell that to the retired millitary brass ,politicians , and businessmen of Southern persuassion whom *make* Orvis and L.L.Bean the lucretive franchise it is. Heckfire we got one of their stores right in Tyson's Corner. Guess whom can afford to shop regularly there?

(quote) " Y'all try and make that rule stick at any of these good ol'boy gathering's or any bar when some sweet young thang is showin' off what she's got and guess who's gonna get shot.

(quote) "8. Men, if you want to wear earrings, pierce your nose and whatever,and wear your hair long-go right ahead -- but if we call you ma'am, don't be offended."

Nice quaint myth , but I've got some powerful doubts you'd try that little stunt around the good ol' Southern boy bikers , and their eually tatooed women , that used to hang out at Payne's in Leesburg. Need I remind y'all that *you'd* be the one accused of "gettin" cute" before y'all are shown the door by the butt end of a pool cue which is bettern' being lookin' down the barrel of some new fangled assault weapon.

(quote) " 21. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 goes two ways-Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one."

Well the that's exactly what the voters in one of the Carolinas, can't remember which , did with Republican corporate pig-farm potentate Lauch Faircloth. You know , lie down with pigs ya wake-up with....well you know.

(quote) "28. You burn an American flag in our state - you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature (all 4 of them) enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $10 fine for beating up the flag burner." Yeah, now try and burn a Confederate Flag and see what happens. Ain't purty. Especially around those whom define themselves as being of *true* southern "conservative pursuasion whom *openly* call the Republican reign of Lincoln as an outright military dictatorship and consider the federal gov't *unconstitutional"

Shall I go on? Yeah, these so-called southern rules may still have a life in Reader's Digest's "Humor in America" , but the real South covers a wholotta mo' territory and is a motherlode for humorous commentatin'.....21st century Samuel Clemens-style. Ahhh, Southern humor; that muthah's milk do floweth over now don't it. ;-)