There was this Irish privateer. One day, the lookout cried, "Captain, ship ahoy". The skipper calmly turns to his crew and says, "Lads, prepare to engage. Man your stations, charge the weapons, set the rigging for battle". Then he turns to the cabin boy and says, "Lad, bring me my red shirt", which he donned, and then directed the successful battle and capture of the other vessel. He fought with great skill and courage and the plunder was rich. A few days later, they were sailing and the lookout cries, "Captain, three ships ahoy". The skipper calmly turns to his crew and says, "Lads, prepare to engage. Man your stations, charge the weapons, set the rigging for battle". Then he turns to the cabin boy and says, "Lad, bring me my red shirt", which he donned, and into the battle they went. The skipper was brilliant, maneuvering the fast ship and accurately placing the shot to take out the masts of the other ships. In battle he was fierce, almost a lunatic. In the end the day was won, the plunder rich, and the ship returned to port loaded with spoils. One of the sailors, a new fella, asked the Captain, "Why the red shirt?". The Captain replied, "So that if I am wounded in battle, my men won't be able to see that I am bleeding and lose heart". "Brilliant" says the seaman. A few weeks later, the ship is underway once more when the call comes from the crow's nest, "Captain, 10 ships on the horizon". The skipper calmly turns to his crew and says, "Lads, prepare to engage. Man your stations, charge the weapons, set the rigging for battle". Then he turns to the cabin boy and says, "Lad, bring me my brown pants".