Dear Dr. Guitar

Firstly, thank you, and mooman too, for your efforts on my behalf. After reading mooman's advice to me, another 'Catter, a friend of Amos Quito who goes by the pseudonym of "Helen OtherMossie" in order to protect her identity, called to inspect my new guitar. She was unfortunately struck by a severe coughing fit, but managed to say that it was quite unique, and too valuable to be played. I have therefore hung it in pride of place in my living room. Incidentally, I have been having some difficulty in following the diagrams which accompany the mounting which she left me for this purpose. I can secure the mounting to the neck of the guitar, using the G-clamps which are part of this mounting, but the open ring, which I assume is to fit over a convenient light fitting, is in the wrong plane; when I slip it over the light fitting, the guitar twists round and wrenches the light off the wall. However, this is a minor matter.

Miss Othermossie suggests that I take up another instrument, which I think she called a "boron", or something similar. I don't think she can spell very well, it's impossible to pronounce all the d's and h's which she included in the word. I don't recall seeing too many of these on the pop and festival programs which I watch on the TV; can anyone tell me why this should not be so popular an instrument ?

Yours,

Robin Banks