Dear Dr. Guitar,

I wonder whether your correspondent, Ms. Ann Grie (nee Ger) has not got the wrong end of the stick. My good friend (and amateur luthier extraordinaire) Amos Quito, tells me he once attended a concert where the lead singer was playing a guitar with a name like, "Round of Applause" or "Standing Ovation", which was clearly unfinished, as it had no hole in the front.

Clearly, this poor presentation was detracting from the overall enjoyment value of the concert, so during the interval, he wandered round the back of the stage and remedied this deficiency with his handy cordless saw.

He was unable to speak to the singer to discuss his work, as some sort of argument broke out when the players returned to the stage, and the second half of the concert was cancelled. He tells me he is unable to discuss this incident further, as there is a Court Case pending, and sone lawyer has told him to say nothing, or "reserve his defence", as he puts it.

However, he has offered to perform the same service to the owners of several "resonator" guitars, as he feels that those big metal grilles or shields must be muffling the sound. The owners have refused, probably on sentimental grounds.

On the matters we have previously discussed, I have been unable to obtain a brothdan handboth Irish drum or whatever it is; when I try and pronounce it to music shop assistants, they seem to look baffled. I am however, practicing with a temporary version which I made from an old dustbin lid. My neighbours clearly enjoy the noise this makes, as they thump on the walls in time to my beat.

Yours,

Robin Banks