This is really becoming quite illuminating...

Let's move on to my dog. Is he serving a purpose? I think not. He lies around all day, looking so bored he could just die if it didn't take too much energy uttering the death rattle. He groans wearily now and then while attempting to deal with an itch at "the far end" (he's a dachshund), and periodically emits a terrible stench. Occasionally he waddles to the kitchen for a drink of water. Even more occasionally he can be coerced into going outside briefly, where he utters a few banal comments to the world in general to show that he is still in charge, attempts to kill the garden plants by watering them in his own fashion, and does various unspeakable things which I will not attempt to describe at all. He then returns, and the whole cycle repeats itself. Endlessly. Oh, and he also sleeps a lot. About 18 or 20 hours a day, I think...but it's hard to tell when he's only faking.

Is he serving a purpose?

- LH