I for one have been saddened dismayed and personally offended by the almost complete absence recently of topics tinged with pointless and tasteless smut. There is emerging a disturbing trend toward musical topics, and thoughtful and informative political discussions.

   This thread is meant as a junk drawer for such random stuff that doesn't fit other threads. My own embarrassing story is that I once coaxed a friend into telling something embarrassing, saying I'd top it. Then I backed out. Too many people had gathered, I still can't tell it. The shame of copping out comes back to haunt me every halloween...

   I went out trick or treating with my daughter one year, and, there being a very small man, a midget I suppose, on our street, we went there. He was out handing out candy, my daughter said Thank you, and then--she was very small--she said I like your costume.

   He wasn't wearing a costume, and I said um, Etta? and she looked at me, and realised. The rest of the night we went house to house with her saying Dad? I feel so bad about what I said to that man. And I tried to get her over it, saying Well, I don't think he heard you, and anyway, we all say things sometimes and wish we hadn't, I have, many times. She fixed on that--What did you do, Dad? Tell me what you said. I could only think of one thing, and it is the story I backed out of telling my friend, will never tell my daughter, and am not going to tell here either. So what could I tell her? (Pause.) I told her embarrassing things her mother had done. My wife once told a girl that her hair always looked so perfect, and later found out the poor girl was bald and wore a wig. Things like that.

   SHE--Dad, I still feel bad about saying that to that man. ME-- It's okay honey, you didn't mean anything, I don't think he heard you. SHE--Are you sure? Do you promise? ... We went on this way, house to house.

So I told my friend about this, and she was about to tell a story, hesitated, declined. I talked her into it. She is the only woman who works in a local fabrication shop, and her first week there, she overslept one day, got dressed in a hurry throwing on some jeans from the dryer, got to work and helped in a process that needed several workers to do. Immediately after, the owner pointed to the floor, saying Someone lost their underwear. There lay a blue thong. It had probably been in a leg of her jeans, and come out, and there was nothing to do but claim it, and put it in her pocket.

   Later I remerbered having sat with a couple we knew at a play, made some smart-assed remarks about the production, then realised the man I was sitting with had directed it. So I told that, but still can't get over having copped out of the story-swap.