This is a version heard at rendezvous called SEVEN NIGHTS DRUNK.

Well the first night that I came home so drunk I could not see,
Found a horse in the stable where my horse ought to be.
"Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
How come a horse in the stable where my horse ought to be?"
"You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
It's only a milk cow your granny sent to me."
I've traveled this world over, ten thousand miles or more,
But a saddle on a milk cow's back I never did see before.

Well the second night that I came home so drunk I could not see,
Found a coat on the coat rack where my coat ought to be.
"Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
How come a coat on the coat rack where my coat ought to be?"
"You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
It's only a bed quilt your granny sent to me."
I've traveled this world over, ten thousand times or more,
But pockets on a bed quilt I never did see before.

Well the third night that I came home so drunk I could not see,
Found a head on the pillow where my head ought to be.
"Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
How come a head on the pillow where my head used to be?"
"You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
It's only a cabbage head your granny sent to me."
I've traveled this world over, ten thousand times or more,
But a mustache on a cabbage head I never did see before.

Well the fourth night that I came home so drunk I could not see,
Found an a** in the covers where my a** ought to be.
"Come here, my little wifey. Explain this thing to me.
How come an a** in the covers where my a** ought to be?"
"You blind fool, you drunken fool, can't you never see?
It's only a pumpkin your granny sent to me."
I've traveled this world over, ten thousand times or more,
But a a**hole on a pumpkin I never did see before.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 9-Jul-02.