I have reread this entire thread trying to understand things better. Some things do not make sense. Like being punished for working part time on welfare. And it costing more to get to work than they would let you keep. Didn't I see on your list that it costs $60 for a bus pass? Wouldn't they let you keep $60? If they do (take home), you are no worse off. You are better off because you have a better base. Reread what Jande said about building beauty on quicksand. I don't have the soul of an artist. I have the soul of a file clerk, so I don't understand the artistic temperament. But you are saying I can't do this, I can't do that over fairly simple things, but yet you want to take on these Oliver Stone type projects. Do you like living on the edge? The literal edge? You don't have to. You can back up a few steps and get housing and barter your cooking skills for decent food and get a little part time job...that lets you keep $60 so you don't go in the hole from working...and just build one thing, one step at a time, starting with food, shelter and medical help. And don't say nothing works because often it does. And even if you don't like going to regular doctors, you will need statements from doctors about your condition when you apply for various things, so ask around, check out the internet. There are doctors certainly in a city as big as Toronto who know something about environmental illness and who lean toward natural treatments. And didn't your treatment cost $60? That is not bad. Get the welfare, get the partime job and the bus pass and hopefully they'll let you keep $120 and there you go.

mg