Gawd - I've manged to get orf a that bl**din nursin' 'ome thread. I agree wiv the bit abaht "Old wimmen lookin' after old men" - mind you the wimmen don't 'ave to be that old.

I like the nurses bendin' over me when I'm pretendin' to be be poorly - easpeshly the ones wiv big knockers - matron's got big knockers, but she always buttons up on 'er blouse right up to the collar before she gets near me - and keeps er 'and infront of em.

I like big Brenda walkin' into the bathroom just as I've got a nice big st***y on - mindyer she tried to drown me las' time.

I like sittin' in the lounge on a sunny day when one of them pretty young nurses in 'er thin summer uniform is standin' in front of the french windows.

I like .... Gawd here comes matron - I better log orf.