Wow Allan! You and Kathy have a wonderful friendship/relationship...it can be such a tough judgement call as to whether to consider other "levels" of relationship, including marriage. Sometimes it is great to just have a very close friend you know you can always count on...I know the feeling.

My greatest "flaw" is that I tend to be too giving of myself...that's some of the reason I lost my identity...I tried to become what my then boyfriend/now husband expected of me...Oh, and to this day I don't (usually) complain when he goes to play league tennis, run his marathons and other races, play basketball...heck it gives me time to myself (when I can occupy the baby)--time away from "him". The only thing I ever did for myself outside the home (before the baby) was go once a week to open mic night (with my husband) and have my 20 minutes or so to sing my favorite Irish songs...I had/have my at home hobbies as well...and always seem to have too much going on at once.

Common interests with just enough different interests as well to keep things interesting is important. But you can't "force" the common interests.

Communication is a key too! My bestest friend said something to the effect that communication/relationships are a 4(?) lane street (2 lanes both directions)...there needs to be some form of give and take in BOTH directions...the more equal all around the better. (I probably screwed that all up, and I am too lazy to plow through all the correspondences to find the exact quote)...

I've added to my agenda today going to the library to see if that book is available...

Matthew, I checked to see if I could get the movie at the library, but you have to go the exact branch it is at...guess I'llhave to wait for the weekend and hope we start a video membership in this new town...(Excuses, excuses! LOL)

SLM, if you are still out there, thanks for starting this great thread that has taken on new meaning!

Time to play with the little one--he's tearing apart the place to get my attention!

Mary