The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #52386 Message #801799
Posted By: catspaw49
12-Oct-02 - 01:14 PM
Thread Name: BS: Make Self-Love, Not War
Subject: BS: Make Self-Love, Not War
Alright, before you go on with this, you may find it wildly humorous or completely offensive......If you're offended by sexual humor, STOP HERE......and don't bitch at me huh?
Karen came home with a website she'd heard about on the morning radio drive-time bunch (The Zoo Crew)......It's easy to say "Make Love, Not War"...but what if you can't find a willing partner? Why not make SELF-LOVE???? Hence we have a website and a group devoted to just such a notion....Masturbate For Peace
A very erudite bunch who say that "War is Out-Pound Your Trout" and even have poetry and songs such as:
Song For Peace Sung to the tune of The Caissons Go Rolling Along
Sing our song, Grab your dong, Squeeze some joy juice on your thong, When your jerkin your gherkin for peace.
Grab your prick, Swat your dick, Shoot your load and make it stick, When your jerkin your gherkin for peace.
Chorus
Oh it Woo Ha Hi, I just came right in my eye, Leave something viscous on your knees, When you pull your pole, You're always in control When your jerkin your gherkin for peace.
You're no fool, Stroke that tool 'Till you finally start to droll, When you're jerkin' your gherkin for peace.
Slap that cock, Jolt your rocks, Come so hard you fill your socks, When you're jerkin' your gherkin for peace.
And of course, what special interest group can get by without bumper stickers????
War's a dud, pound your pud
Don't be Bush's flunky, spank your monkey
War is sick, play with your dick
Peace rocks, whack your cocks!
Service your rod, not your rifle
Put your guns on your shelf, go fuck yourself
Stop the war, I want to get off
War is evil, wank your weasel
What if they gave a war, but instead everyone came?
Smack your Jack, not Iraq!
Don't grease the war machine, do yourself with Vaseline
Save Our Soldiers, Touch Your Privates
Let your wood do some good
I'm frigging against this war
Ring your bell. Stop this hell
Jack Mehoff for President
Grease your cukes to stop the nukes
War's funky, spank your monkey
Pound Penises Into Plowshares
Beat your little man, not Afghanistan
War's not the only way to soothe an agitated bush.
Don't flatten Iraq, just strangle Kojak
There's no time for war if you yank 'til you're sore
Save our nation through masturbation
Don't Wag the Dog, Flog the Log
Don't send troops to die, give masturbation a try
War can wait, masturbate!
If you don't want to die, hump a pie
Vibrate don't annihilate
If you don't stroke it who will
War is fickle, tickle your pickle
Who wants to mourn? Jerk of to net-porn!
If we can't screw ourselves, we're all screwed
Onanism, not pugilism!
Harry Palms for President!
Forget war, be a self whore!
My patriot missile explodes for peace
A hot hand on a cold night, not a cold knife in a hot fight
War isn't cool, flog your mule.
Blue Balls=War
No military rank comes close to a wank
Forget Jihad, shoot your wad
A stroke a day keeps the bombs away
Enough with rancor, yank your wanker
Pull your plum and peace will come
Violence ain't workin', try jerkin' your Gherkin
I'd rather spill than kill
Finger your crack - not Iraq
Don't have a fit, rub your clit
Stab your clam.... not Saddam!
No need to hurt when you can squirt!
Punch the clown... Not the enemy!
Hairy palms not cluster bombs
Pocket pool for peace
Give war the finger
Semper Fi, self-gratify
If your semen is a spillin', there won't be time for any killin'!
Lay a hand on yourself before laying a hand on others
War is out pound your trout
Pull your cock not a glock
Self-guided muscles not missiles
Send your little troops into your hand, not a foreign land
All we are saying, is give peace a wank
Don't Fire - Pull Your Wire
Pull together for peace
Abuse your middle piece, not the Middle East
Self-Love Not War
More head less dead
No missiles in the sky, self-gratify
Touch your sack, not Iraq
Put Your Fingers In Yourself, Not On A Trigger
My bush doesn't declare war
Suppose they gave a war and everybody came instead
One cum a day keeps war away
Pull Puds, Not Scuds
Rub Your Wombat If You Hate Combat
Be a healer spank your weiner
Beat your meat, not your enemy
Choke your chicken, not your enemy
Be kind - make yourself blind
Let's beat violence together
Peace won't work unless you jerk.
Peace is but a few strokes away
Stroke your piece for peace
Spill Your Seed, Not Blood
Shoot nothing but your wad
Slap the salami, not Saddam-i!
More Wanks, Less Tanks
We've got the whole world in our hands....
Contributing to peace 1 oz. at a time.
Whack, don't attack!
Don't hate, masturbate
If You Must Follow An "ism", Make It ONANISM
Solve global issues with a tissue
World peace is at hand
If you can still read this, you aren't masturbating enough