When I was told that "masturbation makes you go blind" I always said that I'd carry on until I had to wear glasses. I've just realised that I've been wearing (reading) glasses for over 10 years now and still haven't completely terminated the other habit - well I need something to do when "Essex Girl" isn't around.

Are there any rules that say you have to do it to yourself or is mutual masturbation permissable ? - if so, Bobert, just ask the gorgeous P-Vine out to the woods with you.

It's a great idea though, but has anyone thought of a suitable collection and delivery system to enable the resulting barrels of fluid to be dropped on Saddam -it should help to gum up the works over in Iraq so to speak.

The problem which I see is that the main guy who wants attack Iraq is a big wanker himself - and it doesn't seem to stop him !

Finally, I heard a suggestion the other day that if the human race had been able to lick it's genitals like most other mammals (and possibly 'Spaw), it would never have achieved it's dominant position on earth.