I wish they'd let me cum to that nursing home. I like the bit abaht 'aving a pet. They don't really go much on petting 'ere - well Matron and Big Bertha both belt me round the kisser when I try it on them. I reckons Matron's puttin' stuff in my tea to stop me trying - mindyer they used to do that in the army an it never worked then.

Dirty Dotty don mind me petting 'er, but then there's not much that she does mind - exept washing - she screamed the place down when they tried to giv 'er a bath the other year - trouble is yer 'as ter wear a peg on yer conk to go near 'er.

If yer mate's lady friend wants ter visit me sometime - I'll entertain 'er to a special session in my room any time.

I wouldn't mint bein' cared for in the community by some nice lady, but they don' like lettin' me out coz I'm on that stupid sex offenders register - when that lady copper started taking about takin' down pertikulers, I jus' thought I'd give 'er an 'and wiv taking fings down !