It is with a moment of hesitation that this is posted. I have a feeling of an "OK Corral Ambush." It is "deja vu all over again" because:
1. Abby is back (welcome - you have been missed by at least one kindred soul)
2. I could have sworn it was posted to this thread or the Rugby Thread.
3. This classic is smeared ALL over the web.

Shel Silverstein perhaps borrowed the style/beat from Piss-Pot for his renowned "Smoke Out"

THE LEGEND OF PISS-POT PETE

A RECITATION

Gather round, children, for a story of old,
When men were brave and women were bold.
It all started way out west,
To settle a bet of who was best.

Now Old Lil fucked everything that crawled or creeped,
And piled her victims in a great big heap.
There wasn't a man for miles around
With a big enough rod to fuck her down.

Now news of this boast traveled far and wide.
Thousands of rod-riders came and died,
When down from Cuntville came Pisspot Pete,
With sixteen pounds of swinging meat.

Sixteen pounds of meat and twenty pounds of cod.
He wasn't a boy he was a MAN, by God!
Pete laid it out on the Blue Balls Bar.
I'll swear it stretched from thar to [hand motion] thar.

Stunk like shit. I thought I'd die.
But he just laughed and let it lie.
Gentlemen, countrymen, boys in blue,
Came to witness this terrible screw.

People came from miles afar,
To place their bets at the Blue Balls Bar.
They met the next morning in the middle of the street,
The Mangy Whore and Piss-Pot Pete.

Pete greased his dick with a tub of lard,
And he killed a mule trying to work up a hard!
Old Lil warmed up on an old cross-tie.
Oh, my God, how the splinters flied!

Pete came down Main Street like a southbound freight,
And Old Lil knew she had met her fate.
All she could do was to take a seat,
And let old Pete sink his meat.

With a stretching of flesh, and tearing of skin,
Old Pete drove the first two feet in.
Old Lil screamed and clawed at the grass,
And yelled like a panther with a turpentined ass!

Lil let out a scream, "I can't take any more!"
But Pete pounded away on the smelly old whore.
The earth shook and dark turned the sun.
Pete's eyes rolled back and he fired his gun.

When the battle was over and the dust had cleared,
Over forty acres Lil's ass was smeared.
Gallons of love were spilled in the street.
It was so damn sticky, you couldn't pick up your feet!

Land was torn up for miles around,
Where Old Pete's balls had drug the ground.
Pete reeled in his dick and pounded his chest,
Got on two horses and rode off West.

As a lasting memory to the great Old Whore,
They hung her drawers on the Bar Room door.
And all the soap this side of hell,
Couldn't wash away that whorehouse smell!

Now Old Pete died and he went to hell:
Fucked the devil and his wife as well!
The little imps screamed and climbed the walls,
Yelling, "Get him out before he fucks us all!"

He fucked ninety-eight and his balls turned blue,
Then he backed off, jacked off, and fucked the other two!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle