Sheila Wellstone became a respected voice in her own right
Patricia Lopez
Star Tribune

Published Oct. 26, 2002 SHEI26

From a homemaker who dropped out of college to support her husband in graduate school, Sheila Ison Wellstone gradually grew into a political force of her own, becoming a nationally recognized advocate on domestic violence.

At barely 5-foot-3, she was, friend Beverly Dusso said, "a tiny, little piece of dynamite. She had huge energy and a mighty spirit."

By the time her husband had won his upset Senate victory, said Dusso, who knew her since 1989, Sheila Wellstone had already singled out domestic violence as her issue.

Why she did so is something no one seems to know for sure. "I think it was just because she saw so many families destroyed by it," said Dusso, who runs the Tubman Family Alliance, a shelter that operates in Minneapolis and Ramsey County.

Her latest triumph was, perhaps, her greatest. The man believed to be the Washington, D.C., sniper is being held under a federal law that prohibits those under a restraining order for domestic violence from possessing a firearm. It was Sheila Wellstone who put the proposal together. Paul Wellstone got it passed as part of the Domestic Violence Firearms Prevention Act.

Once Sheila Wellstone seized on the domestic violence issue, she devoted a passion to it that was as marked and outspoken as that of her fiery spouse.

"When it came to domestic violence, she could raise as much cuss and hell as any construction worker," said Ray Waldron, president of the Minnesota AFL-CIO.

With that spirit was an ever-present sense of hope and fun. To raise awareness of the issue, she took part in a Minneapolis-to-Mankato motorcycle ride, clinging to Waldron as they rode his Harley. That's when the woman of the well-coiffed hair, stylish dress and impeccable fingernails allowed that she used to go riding motorcycles as a girl with her brothers in the hills of Kentucky.

"She was a lot of fun, more than almost any friend I've ever had," said Marcia Avner of the Minnesota Council of Nonprofits. "She always found something to smile about."

'Complete partners'

But more than her advocacy on domestic violence issues, more than her spirit or occasional sarcasm, Sheila Wellstone was known first and foremost as her husband's most trusted adviser, revered friend and cherished companion.

"She was very much in love with Paul, her kids and her grandchildren," Avner said. "She was always at his side. They were complete partners in everything they did."

She and Wellstone met at 16, when she was a high school junior in Arlington, Va.

In a February 2001 interview with Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine, she said that after he asked her out, "there's never been another man in my life or a woman in his life since that night."

She dropped out of college to help put him through grad school at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, and when he became a professor at Carleton College in Northfield, she took a job as an assistant librarian and raised the couple's children, David, Marcia and Mark.

That's when Pam Costain met her. "I used to baby sit their kids," Costain said, fighting back tears at the Friday night vigil outside the State Capitol. "She was a really remarkable woman who never would have imagined that she would be in the public position she found herself in."

Costain said that when she first met Sheila in 1969, "she was a little shy, somewhat reticent. She was always very much at his side, but quiet."

Once Paul Wellstone scored his upset victory in 1990, Sheila "grew into her public role in an amazing way," Costain said.

In Washington, the senator included her in every policy discussion and found her office space. "He never made a major decision without Sheila's advice and consultation," Costain said.

Over time, Costain said, Sheila Wellstone "found her voice" and became an outspoken advocate who did her own appearances and speeches. In his second term, Paul Wellstone became fond of breaking the ice at gatherings by noting some award his wife had won or speech she'd been asked to give. "She's more sought-out than I am," he would say in a mock mournful tone.

Indeed, Sheila Wellstone began traveling the state, visiting battered women's shelters and giving speeches nationally.

"She was present for the opening of every decent battered women's shelter in the state of Minnesota since he was elected," Dusso said. The once-shy girl from Kentucky would stride into a shelter dining room, plop herself down at a table with the women and "talk by the hour," Dusso said.

Dusso said Sheila Wellstone helped create the national Violence Against Women office, which put a national focus on the issue and became a means for directing federal dollars.

Because of her, Dusso said, "there was money all through this country to build shelters, strengthen programs and train police on how to deal with domestic violence."

For the past four years, whenever a battered woman in Minnesota needs a shelter for herself and her children, she can make one call, to the Day One Center, Dusso said, "and she will be kept on the line till we find her a place to stay. That was all Sheila's work and we were the first in the nation to do it."

Avner said Wellstone "was always a little bit in awe of the ability a senator's wife had to touch people's lives. She was humble, but determined to use it to help people."

"She was never without hope," Dusso said. "That's what I'll always remember about her."